Reasons Why I'm Free (because i can't sleep)

One of the main reasons why I am free is because I do not need to prove myself. Whether it's to my biological family, my spiritual family, friends, my church, or to strangers I first meet, I can be who I am to them, truthfully. Being me means me with all the flaws and incompletion, brokenness and weird character quirks, all my lacks and all my gifts. I am free because I do not feel the need to prove myself to God or to anyone, or to myself.

Another reason why I'm free is because of the joy of the Lord. As defined so clearly already, it is the joy of the Lord and therefore, not mine. I think this joy is called the "joy of the Lord" so that we would always remember that it is His joy that sustains us, not our fleshly joy which is sometimes mixed with vanity. With this in context, no matter what happens to me or around me, no matter what kind of circumstance I am facing, God is always joyful, hopeful, and victorious. This is His nature. He grieves and mourns, but He is still joyful, all at the same time. He scoffs at the enemy, laughs in the face of the storm, and rejoices over me continually with singing and dancing. Because I feel a continual delight from my Father towards me, I am continually in delight. And that is a huge huge huge source of my freedom!

I am free because of creativity as well. Creativity is a gift to dream that is straight from the heart of God. We, as human beings made in the image of God, have options to choose from. We can choose to accept reality as it is, with all its lofty high mountains as well as arduous low valleys. With our eyes set on the problems, potential setbacks and soon-to-be failures, we will never soar. However, God's gift to us is the ability to dream. Dreaming is inborn, and it comes from the fabric of God which includes within it the power to create. Creativity is the creation of the new and unseen through dreaming. When we are released to dream, no setback will be able to pull us down, no difficulty will be too big for us to cross over, and no limitation over circumstances and situations will be our stumbling block any longer. Our very beings were formed when God first dreamed of us. When I dream with God, there is nothing - absolutely nothing - that will limit us from pulling whatever's in His heart down to where we are. Heaven on earth. I am free because I dream :)

And I don't know why I'm writing this, and it's ok :)

I am free because I don't need to know the exact details of where I am going, and I don't need to know what the step after next is. All I need to know is that I am on a straight road towards His heart, and take the immediate next step according to what He has revealed. It's a little bit like enjoying being led when dancing with a partner, knowing that my partner loves me is a more than enough reassurance that it'll be a wonderful, exciting, sometimes surprising dance. Oh, what a wonderful otherworldly reality that is more real than this present realm that we call reality. It is when I close my eyes and feel the breathe of heaven, when I can almost smell the scent of the perfume of love that I just poured out all over Him again, when my whole being is swept away towards the direction of the winds made from the wings of the Spirit, that's when I know I am free.

And even when I close my eyes and see nothing, sense nothing, feel nothing, I am still free because there is something called faith, which is like an exciting journey into a darkness, which is only a shadow. For in His reality, there is no darkness at all.